What happens when we die?

Information takes up physical space

It’s incredibly small, but nevertheless, it seems that information does actually require some physical space in order to exist. 

Previously I’d always assumed that information was not physical, and when you consider how much information you can store on a 1 terabyte hard drive compared to the old days, when storage was huge. 

Yet as storage space increases so too does the amount of information we want to store. Endless super high quality streaming video footage, quantum physics experiment data… is there a limit? Even if we could store one bit of information per atom. The amount of practical space we have access to is finite. Therefore surely the amount of information we can store is also finite? It’s a lot, an unimaginable amount, but ultimately finite.

So what does this say about the ground of all being. If information requires some physical substructure, does this mean that consciousness is not the root of the world after all… ?

Awareness is information.

It’s often thought that awareness, or pure being, or consciousness, is a non physical process, it exists beyond the limits of the physical world.

However awareness itself is a flow of information. And information requires physical space, so even awareness has a physical presence in spacetime. 

It could be that the space required to process the awareness of the universe requires a space the size of the universe. 

All of the information required to create a universe, takes up the space of a universe.

So what happens after you die?

Let’s say that you are information, not only the physical information of your body, but also your mental information, the contents of your mind and all of your experience, there is some other form of information here too, but I’m not sure how to name it.

Now when you die, what happens to all this information? It doesn’t disappear. Physics tells us that information cannot be destroyed, it just changes form. So it continues to exist, but obviously something has changed, there is a radical difference in the form and process of the physical and mental presence. However the information still exists, after all, it is a fundamental law of physics, information cannot be destroyed. But it does transform. And as it transforms it dissipates.  Or we could say, it changes its form of coherence. 

Incoherent information takes the same space as coherent information.

We can experience this when we do a jigsaw puzzle. The final image is just the result of rearranging all the pieces. Yet all the random pieces take up the same space as the final image.

So if we break down your body into random atoms, you would take up the same space, but you would no longer be recognisable as you. 

So it seems that death is a process that causes a significant incoherence in the information that is you. Or rather, death happens as the coherence of the information we associate with (self) becomes no longer coherent. 

And this can be physical death, or psychological death. A person can “seem” dead to another person if the information one knew them by has become significantly incoherent.

But what about the experience from the first person perspective? What does it feel like to die? What does it feel like to experience becoming incoherent?

From the point of view of awareness, I can say that to witness ones own slow transformation toward greater incoherence is quite humbling. Firstly there is the recognition of the tremendous organisation of information required to process this experience of being alive. It truly is quite spectacular. There is also a tremendous sadness, seeing the potential never accomplished. And at the same time, there is some kind of excitement, seeing the possibilities for others partaking in this same journey. What might they accomplish in this world to come?

As the information that holds me together as a coherent process in this world disperses, I become less able to make sense of, and in, this world. Yet another world opens up to me, a world not of sense making, but a world of a more pure experiential quality. It is as if I am seeing beneath the surface of the sense making world, to some underlying sublayer. There are colours but with no names, there are forms, again with no names. Here we have bypassed the naming layer, the part that keeps information coherent, now this information seems to mingle and merge with itself, to bypass boundaries once imposed by the naming coherence. It is possible to experience the incoherence, and it’s not so frightening, there is a sense of awe and wonder, there is an experience of such vastness and incredible majesty. It’s just very different to what we’re normally used to. 

Slipping further into incoherence it becomes difficult to bridge a connection from the experience to my word forming activity… and soon the ability to continue typing … 

There comes a point where coherence with this physical world ends. But I cannot say for sure that at that point awareness ends. It could well be that awareness continues, and perhaps even finds a new form of coherence. I’ve not yet had that experience, so I cannot report on it. But I can certainly entertain the possibility. It feels perfectly feasible. Awareness is very present at the layers beyond words and forms. It’s a strange world, an unspeakable world, but a reality non the less. So to speculate a deeper reality beyond even that, is conceivable.

And of what spaces we will find ourselves in, when we move beyond this world, are journeys of which we can only yet dream…

And to all those who are about to take that journey, I wish god speed and may good angels be your companions. 

When listening moves you.

There is a time for listening, and there is a time for doing.

I have this notion that our culture is still quite immature, and as a people we need to learn much more how to listen, to listen to each other, to listen to the world, to listen to nature and the subtle energies we sometimes refer to as angels. I see all too much how this lack of listening results in brutish insensitivity, the cold, hard, calculating thrust of the “just get it done” mentality.

Interesting side note, the word Brutish is quite similar to the word British… As a British woman, growing up in Britain, I know all too well the cultural stereotype of the “just get it done” mentality.

But this rather brutish attitude leaves little room for reflective, compassionate listening. Rather, it panders to the reactive, subservient, authoritarian ways of just getting on with it. Business as usual. Don’t be so hysterical dear. Just follow the science. Yes sir, three bags full. Doff the cap, whatever you say governor…

Don’t worry about it, the boffins have it all under control, with their mathematics and their quantum computers… So we should just listen when we’re told to, and do what we’re told. Do we really need to inquire into the subtle interplay of listening and doing? Is there really a natural evolution from listening to doing? Or should we just listen to the experts and then act when we’re told to act? When is the right moment to stop listening and start doing?

Yet this is not really an intellectual type of activity. There’s no algorithm, no calculation for determining exactly when is the right moment to move from listening into doing.

There is a branch of science devoted to studying such questions. But I’m not talking about it from a mathematical perspective. I’m coming to this from the perspective of feeling.

We know when a relationship is over. We don’t measure it, or calculate it, or throw a dice. We feel it.

And there’s a similar process at work when we move from listening to doing. From passive to active. Something grows inside us and as a result action naturally unfolds.

Often we look back and wonder where the action came from, and there’s no real answer to that. We say it was just time, just the right moment, it was just meant to be…

Perhaps a quantum computer could calculate the billions of decision vectors to decode the precise moment of the “when”, but I get the feeling that even then, there would be some puzzle, something unknowable about the whole process. And I’m glad about that. Because if we could know exactly when we were going to act, somehow that knowing would get in the way of the action, and it would interfere with it.

When listening moves effortlessly, authentically, into action. Without premeditated calculation, there is a quality to it that is missing when it’s calculated. The clinical decision lacks a deeper resonance with the whole situation. A connection that is only established when listening moves, naturally into doing.

As a natural listener, I find myself inquiring more into the qualities of “doing”, I’m very interested in the turning point, where inaction becomes action.

Often we associate listening with passivity, but if you’ve done a lot of listening, you know how tiring it can be. There is a very active element to really listening. It involves being truly present, open, responsive. Words that reflect activity.

Our culture is very object, physically oriented, and if someone is not frantically moving about, or showing tremendous amounts of strain, then they’re not working hard enough. They’re not “doing” anything!

We have the idea that the clouds just float in the sky, not doing anything. The flowers just bask in the sun, not doing anything. And the Beas… well they’re busy of course!

So this objectifying of the world has lead to this concept of “activity” vs “inactivity”.

Like I said, it’s rather immature. Just think a little more deeply, and we can see how much activity goes on beneath the surface, without the need for any show of strain or busyness. A tree doesn’t exhaust itself producing apples… Yet we manage to be exhausting the entire worlds resources in our busy endeavour to just survive.

Is seems that in the same way we’ve been trying to force action from ourselves, we’re trying to force the world into giving us all of its gifts at once. Like a spoiled child receiving a present, so eager to tear the paper off. Perhaps the paper was the gift…

We miss so much in our rush to apparent physical action, most notably, the beauty of the sublime discovery that out of listening alone, true action grows.

And any activity in the world not born from the deep qualities of this listening is actually quite brutish and violent in its nature.

Secretly falling apart

Whilst making myself a morning cup of tea, I shuffled my meditation card deck. Picked a random card. It read, “Why are you holding yourself together?” The same card I got yesterday. This is significant!

There’s something spooky about this pack of cards. I’m not totally sure where the ideas came from, it was as if they were spoken to me by angels. Each card has a message, and each message can be interpreted in a couple of ways, depending on the reader. But every time, they hit home. And this message was finding some resistance. I was missing something, there was something I didn’t want to acknowledge.

Getting back into bed with my cup of tea, I grabbed my laptop, an idea was forming in my mind… Just then I noticed the song I’d been singing to myself. “I’ll put a spell on you, you’ll fall asleep, and I’ll put a spell on you… I’ve been secretly falling apart…”

Oh fuck… I looked at the computer clock, and it was 9:11 am. How many clues do I need?!

So what now? Do I consciously plunge head first into the nervous breakdown?

The problem suddenly revealed itself. I don’t trust the world to take care of me. I can’t fall apart, or at least I can’t let on that I’m falling apart. Who would run the show? Who would get things done? … As if I’m getting anything done. I’m just sitting here watching the world fall apart…

And that’s nothing new. We saw it coming 30, 40, 50 years ago. Some of us have been watching this shit show for several decades.

But I’d never completely given up before. I’d always been secretly working to hold it all together. Ahh… I see… Maybe it’s all supposed to fall apart. “I’ll put a spell on you, you’ll fall asleep…”, The lyrics of the song get louder in my head.

Now the voice of Alan Watts starts playing in my head. “Back in the 70’s, Hundreds of the best scientists and thinkers in the world got together, to try and figure out how to solve the crisis. But every potential solution raised further possible problems. Slowly it dawned on some of us, Man had to step back, let go. Let nature do her thing, and sort herself. We were only getting in the way”.

How many times have you found yourself trying to solve a problem, and overthinking it and getting nowhere? Only to find, the moment you let go, stop thinking, suddenly the solution comes, as if from nowhere, as if angels descended and wrote the words on your mind. Is this not where ideas come from?

Trust. It’s a big issue for modern humans. If I stop thinking about everything then it’ll all fall apart!

How will you ever discover the beautiful and mysterious force that’s really running the show if you never stop pretending that you’re the one doing it?

She gazed at the words on the screen, she’d written them as if they were for someone else, but reading them now, she slowly realised they were for her. Everything she’d ever written, it was for her. Tears welled up behind her eyes, yet she forced herself to continue writing… “I don’t have time to cry”, she thought to herself. “I’m in the middle of this…”

“I’ll put a spell on you, you’ll fall asleep…”

I can’t fall asleep, everything’s falling apart. I need to stay alert!

I don’t trust that nature can take care of itself…

Reading back those lines I laughed out loud at the arrogance. Nature, can’t take care of itself? Oh fellow humans, how conceited are we?

Nature has been taking care of business for … oh … how many billions of years… ? I forget. And we come along and build our anthill and kid ourselves that we’re running the show…

Thoughts about all the science books and videos and documentaries flood my mind, little mankind building rockets to space, and machines to carry our sleeping corpses forever into eternity. Whilst the dew settles effortlessly on the leaf of the tree, every morning, even as the machines come, as they rip the body, roots an all, strip it bare, and lay it neatly down in a pile with all the rest… A billion years of life, torn from the ground. Lifeless, naked, ready to be pulverised for our consumption.

But it’s okay, we’re going to build ourselves a big fat shiny floating ship in the sky. And it’ll provide for all our needs. Just like in Star Trek… Because our representations of reality are always so accurate.

I feel overwhelmed with cynicism. I was drinking my tea without even tasting it. That’s never a good sign. The pain in my tooth reminded me to slow down.

Soon it would be over. They were going to kill the nerve. The best part of £1000 was going to perform magic that the regular dentist could not.

For over four years now, I’ve been in pain. I’ve seen several dentists and already shelled out so much money for treatments I probably didn’t need, because the one problem, the problem I said in the first place, was too unlikely. No one wanted to fix it, the infection in the root, the root of the big back tooth. Yes, it was rotten all the way down. And no body wanted to acknowledge it. So many metaphors I feel dizzy!

So now we have to trust each other, when we know all too well, what liars and cheats and miscreants we are. Even the best of us…

My curtains flutter in the breeze and distract my dark thoughts. Yes, let it go. There is a pebble out there, somewhere in the black abyss, with our name on it. Sooner or later we’re toast… Speaking of which… I’m hungry, it’s breakfast time…

I’m way too hard on everyone, including myself. We’re only human, flawed and broken, trying to do our best, with good intentions… Why do I think I know better… ?

Because I listen to the angels? Sometimes, and whatever they are, they seem to have a clearer vision of reality. I’d be considered crazy, but I’d be in good company…

I’m just bitter, it seems like all my life I’ve been dealing with professionals and authorities who don’t listen, who aren’t able to see what’s right in front of them, who are more interested in parroting their programming than engaging with reality… So yes my cynicism has a history.

Now the question is, can I forgive? Because if I can’t let it go, then I’m just the same, distracted by my conditioning. I have to comprehend it all. I need to understand everything, so that I can be okay with the horror!

Why did we do it? Is it because we were afraid, is it just all for safety? Little fangless, clawless, skinny creatures. All we had was this cunning intellect. We could figure things out, and thus cheat our way to the top of the food chain. And so hundreds of thousands of years of repetition brought us to this?

So how does a species grow beyond thousands of years worth of conditioning?

Slowly… “Patience, dear frustrated one”, said the voice in my head.

Maybe some global event with profound life changing consequences will happen, that’ll make everyone sit up and pay attention. It’ll shake things up so much and make everyone question authority and the habit of parroting the programming. It’ll force people to really listen to one another and to nature. People will have to trust one another… We’ll have to start listening again to the angels…

Fall in love

Usually when we hear people talking about falling in love, they’re talking about something they’ve fallen in love with…

Notice the separation, there is YOU, and there is the SOMETHING you’re in love with. 

Sure it feels great! To be in love feels wonderful, we’re full of energy and joy, and this feeling radiates out into the world affecting everything and everyone we come in contact with. It creates a field of joy around us.

But it’s dependant… If that SOMETHING changes, or dies, or goes away, then so does the love, so does all that joy, and we’re left feeling empty and depressed.

The mistake was to imagine that the energy and joy came from the SOMETHING. Where in fact the energy and joy really comes from your hyper intense interest in the something. It actually comes from YOU. 

YOU are the source of love, not the SOMETHING. So is it possible to just be in love? Not in love WITH anything, just in love?

Yes it is. And here lies the door to a mystery that opens us up to the deeper world. Because this kind of falling in love requires that we pass through the external idea of self, and plunge into the inner actuality of true Self.

And we don’t really know who we are until we’ve fallen into this love. From this place, anything seems possible.

This state of being is something I’ve been practicing for several years. And I appreciate not everyone will understand it, or perhaps even recognise it. I certainly don’t claim to be able to maintain it 100% of the time. Like I said, it’s something I practice. And with practice, we become more tuned.

And when we’re tuned, we play better music !

Love is the transcendental object at the end of time. Love is coming, love is coming to us all… 😉

email to mum

I’ve been learning more about magick, apparently a lot of processes come under the umbrella of ‘magic’, like yoga, tantra, meditation, hypnosis, philosophy and science. Magick is the origin of all those pursuits, inquiring into the nature of the world, and how we fit into it. Recognising that we’re both animal and something else, that something else that makes us human, if we use it correctly. It could be called conscience, or compassion, or awareness.

This writing originally began as an email to my mum asking how she’s doing.
I was going begin with letting her know how I am, and what I’ve been doing lately, studying magick… which as it turns out, is what I’ve always been doing, pretty much all my life. Even as a musician, the kind of music I created was ‘magical’. Music that helps the listener to get into that relaxed state of mind, or helps the listener to enter an alternate state of consciousness.

I’m not sure why I’m so into magic. But thinking about it now, I remember my gran, Edna. We used to have wonderful conversations about the nature of the universe and the mind and magic… Also the few memories I have of staying with aunty Edith, they’re rich with magical experience. She had the ‘magic voice’, the power to hypnotise someone just by speaking to them.
So it’s clear where this interest comes from… perhaps… Although if I run with the ideas of James Hillman (The Souls Code), then he’d say that my soul chose to be born into this family so that I could meet these people and have those experiences.

There seem to be very few people in the world today interested in real magick, and it’s a shame, because so much will be lost if these practises and this knowledge isn’t handed down to future generations.
I’d even go further and say that there is a deliberate attempt in the world today to destroy magic. It is a war on many fronts. The war on drugs, the war on personal freedoms, the war on consciousness, the war on exploration and inquiry. All of these magical practices have been usurped by a frightened class of powerful people, much as the Spanish Inquisition weeded out witches back in the day, there is a continuation of the same kind of disrespect, mockery, ignorance and intolerance. And the culmination of this is now coming to a head, when we witness the media, sponsored and controlled by those same intolerant classes that oversaw the witch hunts. The name calling, the mockery, the segregation, the dehumanising and the irreverence.

I believe the root of it is fear, fear of the unknown, fear of the misunderstood, ultimately leading to a powerful urge to control and dictate.
But like any course of tyranny, it cannot last. Control breeds a need for more control, and sooner or later as the grip tightens, chaos slips through the fingers…

I’m not sure why I’m saying all this, but I was thinking about Edna this morning, I don’t really remember her, but she’s still here, as a feeling.

I think we (our society) have been relying on a very thin wedge of magic for too long. When I acknowledge that western science and medicine is but a very small side branch of a much more expansive understanding of Magick, I feel that we’ve become stuck in a habit, that seems to serve us to a point… yet the very act of being stuck in it, blinds us to what lies beyond that rut.
The pandemic and the reaction of the media has shone a light on how stuck we’ve become, and in a way this is a great opportunity, for people to wake up and recognise the matrix of control, which in essence is the war on magick.
It’s been right before our eyes all this time, it’s the same war on nature that humanity has been involved in for god knows how long. Ultimately culminating in the climate control fear that’s now starting to replace the pandemic fear.

We’ve been destroying nature for hundreds of years and this media attempt to scare people into believing that somehow we’re on the edge of a climate disaster is yet another aspect of this underlying war.

One problem with science is that it cannot account for any force or entity beyond it’s scope of understanding. So the idea that nature is a living entity is outside its comprehension. And for anyone deeply embedded in the western mind rut such an idea seems naïve. It belongs with the angels and fairy’s and elves. But for someone who’s explored ideas further afield, these concepts make perfect sense.

So what happens when your heart tells you that the ideas and actions of others around you are born of fear and ignorance, and those actions run contrary to actions you feel necessary, given your own world view? You have to find some way of living in such a world, given that these others are all around you, on the TV, on the radio, in the shops, on the street corners, discussing, reacting and acting on ideas and beliefs that you feel to be inconsistent with reality. And more so, the weight of these ideas, due to the sheer number of people caught up in the fantasy, well, it’s enough to make anyone question themselves, over and over… But if you keep questioning, and still you come to the conclusion that the reality they propose is quite sick and broken. Then the only course of action is to walk away, and have as little to do with this sick society as possible.

So this is how I’ve lived, most of my life. And every time I’ve been challenged by the society, to give up my exploration into a wider reality, I’ve always come to this root question. Is it done out of fear, or is it done out of love. And our culture has done a great job with the mind-fuck, of trying to make fear seem like love and trying to make love seem like fear. The levels of Orwellian mind fuckery are quite impressive. Telling people to follow crazy rules to show their love for others. And still people believe they’re doing good.

So to understand love is essential. And here is another reason why it’s so necessary to be able to step outside the sick cultural hypnosis. Because love in a sick society actually looks very much like fear. A clinging, desperate, exclusive, pandering, longing kind of ‘love’ is not love at all, it is fear.
So learning the difference between love and fear is so important. And the pandemic has highlighted this more than ever.
A much deeper appreciation for love shows it to be akin to truth. We often hear the term love of the truth. But perhaps a clearer definition is, the ability to be with truth.

Again, our sick society has had a go at destroying the concept of truth, but a quick and dirty definition would be something like, ‘what is’. In the east they have the term Tao.

Now our popular culture has tried to indoctrinate our minds with the post-modern notion that truth is subjective and whatever each person might experience as truth is good enough. Oh that’s your truth, but it’s not my truth, so lets agree to disagree…
But this sickness is at the root of the escalating rise in the war on facts. Suddenly facts have become politicised, and only the facts of the ruling class are allowed to be experienced as truth.
It is true that what is experienced as truth now, might not be true at some other time. Things change, this is a fundamental truth. But truth has to be something we can all see and experience. There is no opinion in truth, and certainly no political leaning.

So not only do we see the ruling class at war with nature, but also at war with truth.
And this house of cards is unsustainable. So much effort and so many resources are being funnelled into keeping the charade going. It will collapse, and when it does it will bring down the whole illusion of western democracy.

What we do with the rubble will define the future of mankind. Therefore we need smart people, we need people with an understanding of the deeper nature of things. And magick will play a huge role in shaping the future. Whether we do it consciously or not. As soon as the matrix of control comes crashing down, magick will be unleashed. We don’t want unconscious magick flooding the minds of a panicked society. We need highly aware, conscious individuals who are adept in the magical arts, yoga, tantra, healing, spirituality, metaphysics, and science and technology. And we need people who understand the difference between love and fear, and who know what truth really means.
These are the kind of visionaries we need to inspire a new world. However, so far, I’m not aware of many. If you are then feel free to post links to their work in the comments below. It would be good to establish a network of truth seekers.

Theory of parts and wholes

Two ideas. The idea that we are each a part of god, and the idea that we are each a god.

The subtle distinction between these two ideas conveys a deep misunderstanding about the nature of reality.

The early days of science grew out of minds still very much coloured by the hues of religion. The name for the atom came from the Hindu word Atman, meaning indivisible whole, or god. And the misunderstanding of that concept allowed for the mechanical explanation of nature to take hold. The idea that all matter is created from some indivisible fundamental building block gives rise to other concepts. Such as cause and effect and the mechanical forces of nature. These ideas seemed to reflect the world so much so that we were able to use them to calculate the trajectory of the Apollo space flight to the moon, almost. Some adjustments were required to make the theory fit the reality.

Still today, it’s easy to get caught up in those concept of the world. Take the idea of edges and boundaries. When we see a chair, we imagine we’re seeing a separate single indivisible object. Yet the reality is quite different. How many parts make up the chair on which you’re sitting, and if it’s made of wood, how many trees? And if we take a single tree… Where does the tree end and the CO2, water, nutrients, bugs, etc, that go into creating that tree begin. The idea of the tree is not the tree. An actual tree is a whole ecosystem unto itself, and in turn is part of a whole vast ecosystem. The arbitrary lines we draw between objects in order to distinguish them for purposes of language are in fact mental projections. There is no such thing as an individual object. Objects are always part of something else, and always made up of other smaller things. Even the atom… What we often refer to as reality is nothing more than illusion, a projection of an idea of an object over the top of a collection of processes in the real world.

Reducing objects or experiences down into words for the purpose of communication often results in missing out a tremendous amount of information. In the same way a photograph can only capture a two dimensional snapshot of a landscape, our language can only capture a fragment of the actuality of the experience. And yet we’ve come to imagine that our words describe objective reality. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our words are projections, overlays of subjective concepts, which we mask on top of something we never really know or touch. This actual world always remains unknowable to us, and yet it inspires us to constantly try to explain it and perhaps even for some, commune with it.

This can also be seen when interpreting concepts from one language to another. Much is lost, and in some circumstances the whole essence of a concept can be misunderstood. Many spiritual or psychedelic experiences cannot really be reduced to language. Mystical experiences or simply amazingly awesome everyday experiences can be impossible to fully explain. A skilled writer can attempt to convey some of the essence, but the more as we look deeper into reality, the less our words are able to describe the experience. But we can certainly have fun trying.

For example take these two words. Black water. What does the imagination do with them, does the mind create an image that is more than the sum of the two words alone? For some, maybe not, but for anyone with an imagination, I like to think that you had some creative response, perhaps even some emotion came up? If nothing came up for you, then that’s also quite interesting. For some people, certain phrases or word combinations can trigger quite deep meanings or feelings. Other people don’t seem to be so responsive. Take two other words. Mind fuck. This time I bet there is more of a reaction, possibly even a little anger or upset. And yet for others, there might be no reaction whatsoever. Playing with words in this way can be fascinating, it also can make you a lot of money. This is how the advertising industry earns billions every year, by manipulating your mind with words. It’s also how click-bate in the news and media works. But it has far more profound uses.

Take for example the feeling of anxiety. Imagine a situation where you might feel anxious. Now replace the word anxious with the word excited. Think about this situation whilst replacing the word anxious with the word excited. If you’re quite suggestible then perhaps you’re even able to change how to feel about that situation. Over time and repeated use of this technique it is possible to re-hypnotise yourself. Or de-hypnotise yourself. 

Let’s return to our initial opening sentence. Two ideas. The idea that we are each a part of god, and the idea that we are each a god. At first the difference may appear subtle, but in fact the difference is quite profound. The first statement implies that we are part of something greater than ourselves, that there is some organism we belong to, and the functioning of the whole somehow involves our presence and interaction. Whereas the second statement implies that we are separate entities, alone and distinct in the world, nothing really relies on us, and it is ultimately impossible to relate to anyone or anything else. It’s rather a nihilistic perspective. Which one did you relate to the most? 

This second statement carries with it the underlying notion that the western mind has been caught up in for a long time, this feeling of separateness. And it is related to the whole underlying feeling that pervades our scientific concepts. That things are made of separate parts. Atoms, objects, things. When in fact if you really observe the world, you can see yourself that there are no separate things. As we said before, all things are made from smaller things, and in turn are part of larger things. There are no separate objects. The implications of this are profound and quite fascinating. It means our whole approach to medicine is faulty, our whole approach to government is broken, and the way our society is constructed is at odds with the natural oder of things.

When you have a problem with your eye and the doctor only looks at the eye, not taking into account that the body works as a whole system. When in school there is a problem child, and we only focus on that child, ignoring every other aspect of the system, there’s no such thing as a problem child, the child is part of the whole school system, if there is a problem we need to address the whole system. There is no such thing as a criminal, a ‘criminal’ is part of the whole society, and if there is a problem then it’s the whole system that needs to be looked at. This slight change in the way we view the world, seeing ourselves as a part of something greater, changes the whole way we interact with the world.

For some of you, all of that has been very obvious for a long time. Yet for others, they might need some more information. But right now, I’m tired of writing, so that will have to be covered in another post… But if you can think of some examples, feel free to comment… 

Millions writhe in psychic terrorgasm!

The conditioning of our cultural cesspool, the vapid banshee howl of the media, whipping the masses into a collective terror-gasm of blind fear porn, sets the scene.

Meanwhile, your soul has been knocking at your inner door, it left a message, it reads. “You know where I am. When you need me, I’ll be waiting…”

And all you have to do is put down that piece of distraction and breathe.

All nightmares come to an end when the dreamer awakens. And to awaken this sleeper, the spell of awareness has to be cast. And cast hard!

Cast it like you’ve not eaten for days and you’re aiming for the last fish in the lake. And this fish is deep. Deep at the bottom of this vast lake. And the mist is rolling away, rolling off the surface before your eyes. And your boat floats silently in the centre. Surrounded by the still waters you feel the tension on the line. Something bites!

At first you feel a gentle tug, lulling you into the false notion that this one might be easy. But then, suddenly, you feel the weight of it. A sharp pull. So much so that the whole boat moves, dips a little. And you watch as the ripples move out from the boat, disturbing the whole surface of the lake.

It crosses your mind to let it go, this one surely is too big!

Now the once serene lake takes on a very different atmosphere. The rolling mist has curled up some several feet away into a wall of fog. And the still waters begin to boil and froth. Your boat vibrates and begins to take on water.

The mind is a powerful tool, the imagination could be viewed as a gift from the gods, how else could we explain it? This ability to conjure visions and emotions from words and thoughts. And to then construct the physical world from these ideas. Imagination is truly the source of our dominion on earth. But what is the source of imagination?

“You fool!” Comes a voice from the other side of the fog. Don’t you know that the monster of the lake will eat you alive!?

Slowly you begin to make out the shapes of people standing on the bank of the lake. They’re waving their hands to waft away the fog, and constructing a raft and rope to rescue you from certain doom.

“Don’t look down!” You hear them cry.

But it’s too late, you can feel water through your boots, the boat is becoming heavy and sinking fast. The waters around you, now churning and frothing, and your heart is in your throat and all the hairs on your arms and neck are aquiver, your body trembles with …

Anticipation... It's not fear, there's not been enough time to indulge in creating a drama about it. You're caught on the edge of knowing. Face to face with forces beyond your conditioned mind. On the edge of reality. You can embrace it or reject it. You can See or close your inner Eye. Here the map has no use whatsoever in explaining the terrain. We are off the grid, and in the company of Dragons!

Suddenly the people from the shore have managed to construct some kind of raft, and they’re making a steady approach, building a bridge to safety. Coming to rescue you and bring you back to the certainty of dry land. All the established rules of physics are coming to play. Surely a rope and wooden bridge can reach you in time, and will be solid enough to support your weight and bring you home.

Yet beneath your feet, the rumble of turbulent waters still threaten to sink you. The dark waters… The big fish… Somehow in the midst of this up-evil a hunger stirs deep inside. And not a hunger for food, more so a hunger for a metaphysical food of sorts. Ah yes… Your soul is calling!

The outstretched hands of your countrymen slip from view as the waters engulf you. Down, down, down you go, into the darkness.

Nothing makes sense, the terror-gasm of the crowd, the impossible floating bridge, the frothing waters, the rolling fog, the impossibly big fish. Was is all a dream?

Now here in the silent darkness, there is nothing but the sound of your heartbeat and the occasional voice in your head, and it is oddly quiet.

But you do recall the message from your soul. “You know where I am. When you need me, I’ll be waiting…”. You remember casting the spell of awareness?

A jolt of realisation flashes through you, and with one or two kicks you manage to break the surface and swim to the shore. The crowds have all gone, the boat is nowhere in sight, and it’s dusk. Sitting at the edge of the lake you look up and notice the night sky, awash with lights mirrored on the surface of the lake.

“Was that my soul?” You think to yourself.

“Sometimes we have to drown.” Replies the voice.

You check yourself. Sure enough, you’re all in one piece, a little soggy and cold, but still alive. And something about the world has changed. Sure, the crowds have all gone, but so too has that terror. Now in its place there is a calmness, and an experience beyond all understanding.

Something drew you out into that lake. Ah yes, it was the spell you cast. You were seeking awareness, you were looking for something beyond the cultural conditioning. The conditioning that lately seems to have become so fucked up. You had that hunger, the drive to search elsewhere. That’s how you got here. That’s how you came to the lake, that’s how you met the monster in the lake and almost drowned. That’s why you’re reading this now, because of some curiosity. A spark of inquisitiveness brought us both to this moment. And I imagine that we both might be interested in knowing just what the source of that inquisitiveness is…. ?

If so, stick around, because I’ll be posting more. It fascinates me too 🙂

Coercive control is a criminal offence

But it’s quite difficult to prove or convict when it’s the whole of the worlds media and government and large powerful corporations using a very serious event as a reason for doing the coercing.

Where do you begin?

Well the first thing is probably just to speak about it, as openly as you dare. There might be others who feel the same way, but where afraid to speak out.

Simply raising the subject with family or friends can be scary, especially if they’ve joined in with the coercive voice. It could pay to be a little tactful, and raise the issue by making it about something else.

If nobody speaks out then everybody else is likely to think that no one else cares, and they’ll just stay quiet also.

Fear of ridicule. Perhaps you’ve heard others speaking out and seen how they’ve been ridiculed by authority figures in the media. Perhaps even publicly shamed. That’s a powerful force keeping you quiet.

The thing is, you don’t need to take on these powerful forces directly, you can still speak your mind and say how you feel. If others are dismissing your feelings and still expecting you to act in a certain way, then already we’ve established a certain level of coercion.

If someone is trying to get you to do something that doesn’t feel right to you, then you are being coerced.

On top of that, if those people try to make you feel stupid or inferior because of how you feel. This is further evidence of coercion.

It is important to stand up to coercion, because on a large scale it can be quite dangerous. Think of some of the mass cult suicides that have taken place in our not so recent history. A charismatic leader talks a few of his high ranking followers into believing that they all must take their own lives. Perhaps a few really believe, but those who are not so sure, when they feel the pressure of the whole group, they just follow along. This has happened in our history.

There are many examples of similar events. Peer pressure is a powerful thing. But all it takes is a few sensible people to speak out. And once the majority see that they’re not the only ones feeling unsure about the pressure, they’re liberated to speak out also.

It could help to avoid a catastrophe, so speak out… if you feel so inclined…

A quiet voice saying this doesn’t feel right to me, could be all it takes.

This is a good place to start, to learn more about coercive control.

“It doesn’t make sense”

The fact that so many humans have uttered these words, shows just how out of touch with reality this species is.

“Sense” is something we impose on the world. The deeper we look into the nature of this event we call life, the less it makes sense. And it’s quite possible to notice that this “sense” is in fact something we’re trying to impose on life, for our own sake. To make us feel secure, safe, sane.

The brain has evolved to require some kind of order, without this order we feel perturbed. Our consciousness is shaken, and it gets harder to remain in the neat little reality tunnel we’ve carved out for ourselves.

This is the experience of taking the psychedelic, it throws us off track, out of sync with the map. And once we’re off the map, suddenly we become aware just how big reality is. Just how much sense we’re able to make of it, requires us to only see a small portion of it.

The job of the brain/mind/ego/self is to filter the world through this sense making crack of awareness, just so we can survive.

If we were exposed, all at once, to the raw nature of existence, we’d be confounded by the absurd.

Artists, shaman, visionaries, mystics, have all had glimpses of the absurd. The true nature of reality cannot and does not make sense, it doesn’t need to, it’s us that needs it to, in order to keep the dream alive.

And like with any dream, as we approach the point of waking up, any sense we once imposed begins to fall away. The walls become jello, the arms of the lover become a prison, the eyes become as fiery holes into which you’re pulled down, down, down into an abyss from which you know you will never escape…. until, BOOM! You wake up…

Humanity is beginning to wake up from the dream of the world it created. As so too, it becomes a nightmare.

It becomes the absurd turbulent dystopian shaker of your peace seeking mind.

Until one embraces the truth. That this world is a dream, and it’s time to wake up!

Everything begins with an idea

Consciously creating new belief systems.

In the beginning there is the idea…

For example. I might want to install the behaviour of being more patient.

Example: Deep patience as a buffer between myself and the world.

The idea: Instead of reacting immediately to the world, with patience, we can listen more carefully, notice more deeply, observe and comprehend more widely, more wisely.

So this idea sets out the objective of becoming more patient.

I give attention.

The next step is to notice that we are the source of attention, we are the source of the idea. All thoughts are ideas, including any doubting thoughts about this very notion, is also an idea. An idea we chose or not, to give our attention to.

How does this idea interact with the world?

How does our idea form the reality we experience in the world?

Through inquiry we ask questions about how our inner reality, our beliefs, ideas, thoughts, relate to the world we experience. How are we forming the reality we experience?

I see, I listen, I notice, I observe… I give my attention…

My idea of the world gives rise to my behaviour in the world.

I can get to know the connection between my ideas and my behaviour through paying attention, noticing, observing, giving attention to the relationship between my ideas and how they play out, as behaviours.

Notice how these behaviours interact with the world.

Notice how my behaviours interact with the world. In communication with others. In performing tasks and activities, in learning new things.

How does this new information feedback into the original idea?

Example: Noticing how being more patient deepens my communication with others. How it affects my behaviour towards others, etc.

Now we see the beginning of a new system being formed.

We can create new belief systems, ones which perhaps work for us in more beneficial ways. Which come from ideas we’ve created consciously, deliberately, as opposed to ideas which we’ve inherited unconsciously from parents, teachers, the media, society, etc…

Giving our attention to these new systems, noticing how they play out in the world, in our interactions with others. Using this feedback to plug into the original idea. Consciously growing this system. Slowly we move away from any addiction to old unhealthy systems.

Have fun !

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